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Do I Have a Romantic Side?

6/26/2022

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I've mentioned I'm asexual in the sense that I don't enjoy intercourse, but am I aromantic too? The answer to that question is no. Though I'm not much for romance, I do have a bit of a romantic and wild side to me.

When I say romance, I'm referring to activities like hugging, cuddling, holding hands, and making out with other people. I've done them all before and they do feel good, but they've never lead to urges or desires to have sex, and that's why I identify as asexual.

I do enjoy masturbation simply because it feels good, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy all the times I've been masturbated by other people or received it orally. I'm not sexual enough of a person to seek out people to masturbate me though, but if someone decides to do it under the right circumstances, I'll let it happen and will enjoy the feeling of it, and I might make it mutual if it feels right to do.

I'm also not romantic enough of a person to want to do sexual acts to other people. This isn't because I'm selfish, it's because I'm not wired to enjoy it, so sexual acts don't really appeal to me. Since I know that instances like this are generally a two-way street where both people mutually engage in the acts, I don't go around asking anyone to do it to me. Whenever a person has performed a sexual act like that on me, I'll always be sure to tell them right away that I'm okay with them doing it to me but I may not be interested in doing it back on account of my identity. Truthfully, I'm happy just masturbating myself, even if having someone else do it for me feels better, because it's easier that way and there's never the possibility of having any strings attached or sexually-transmitted diseases when it's solo.

I also don't push romantic encounters on anyone because I don't want to make any potential friendships weird. People generally have to display that kind of affection to me first. There's been instances in the past where I was hanging out with people just as friends and they suddenly went down on me without showing any prior interest. I let them do it but I didn't always return the favor, and some of them said that they were okay with that because they just really wanted to do it to me, while others were disappointed that it wouldn't go both ways. It really just depends on the person and the connection that's felt.

To sum it up: my sexual romance is casual. It's just to have a little fun, enjoy life together, and feel good together with. It's a mild side of me that does exist, but it doesn't interest me enough to go around pursuing it, though I will go along with it if someone initiates it first because it feels good. When it comes to intercourse though, I've tried it but I'm not into it and that will never change.

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